My formative years being raised in the South I thought I would share a bit of Southern Women humor from one of my favorite movies.
Favorite Steal Magnolia Quotes:
Here are some of my personal favorites:
[Referring to her daughter’s many pink wedding decorations]
M’Lynn: That sanctuary looks like it’s been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.
Truvy: Well, these thighs haven’t gone out of the house without lycra on them since I was 14.
Clairee: You were brought up right.
Clairee Belcher: [quoting her gay nephew] All gay men have track lightin’. And all gay men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve.
Clairee Belcher: Ouiser could never stay mad at me; she worships the quicksand I walk on.
Truvy: Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin’ across your face.
Truvy: I kind of like hiring somebody with a past.
Clairee: She can’t be more than eighteen. She hasn’t had time to have a past.
Truvy: Oh get with it, Clairee. This is the eighties. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.
Clairee Belcher: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
Truvy: Smile! It increases your face value.
Ouiser Boudreaux: A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Ouiser Boudreaux: He is a boil on the butt of humanity!
Annelle: Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.
Truvy: Oh, Sammy’s so confused he don’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.
Ouiser Boudreaux: The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Oh! Well don’t you expect me to come to one of your churches or one of those tent-revivals with all those Bible-beaters doin’ God-only-knows-what! They’d probably make me eat a live chicken!
Annelle: Not on your first visit!
Clairee Belcher: Very good, Annelle! Spoken like a true smart-ass!
Truvy: You are playin’ hard to get!
Clairee Belcher: At her age, she should be playin’ beat the clock.
Clairee Belcher: The older you get, the sillier you get.
Ouiser Boudreaux: Yeah, well the older you get, the uglier you get.
Shelby: Remember what Daddy always says – an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!